My last post was a “Song for the broken”, something that for the most part speaks to each of us in some way or another at some point in our lives. I wonder though how many of us feel like because we live in a mess that we are wrong or we are not living. Please don’t take that statement the wrong way, let me explain.
If you have ever watched the show “Hoarders”, you need therapy and that is not the kind of mess I am talking about. If your mess is tearing apart other peoples lives and up heaving marriages and ending the foundation of families then no that is not the kind of mess I’m referring too.
Most days I think I’ll never survive. I wake up tired. I’m 31, that shouldn’t happen. Half the time I forget half the stuff I’m suppose to be doing, I have at least 15 alarms on my phone for various things. A calendar on said phone, color coded and loaded with more activities and bill due dates than one sane person can keep up with. There is also my notebook, my handy dandy notebook, you know you said that in the blues clues sing song voice, which is also packed full of passwords that I can’t remember for websites I had to register for, for what ever reason, along with confirmation numbers from bill’s paid over the phone, contact numbers for those bills, along with the rest of my brain I decided not to put in my phone. The reason being, because I’m weird that way!
I have a job I love and my Monday morning as weird as it sounds I can’t wait to get to work, even though it’s a Monday, by Friday I’m ready for the weekend. While at work though, holy smokes at the responsibilities a job entails on top of everything else I already do as a me, that’s not counting my work stuff. I haven’t even hit my wife, mom and church responsibilities.
Half the time I have my oldest son who thinks he has to remind me that he has to have this for that, or that for this. I’m like “Dude I’m known as “Mom” I got this! I know what I’m doing!” He has faith in me I know, I just think he sees what I do and feels the need to help, he’s an awesome kid like that!
All of this is going on though. This is a snippet of my life, a small glance in to how it all goes or doesn’t. A lot of times it gets messy, because I’m not perfect, I cant keep it all straight, I can’t make every school function, doctor’s appointment, or church function. I forget to sign papers or send money to school or call in a prescription. I forget to give my kid his antibiotics and we have to extend how long we give it or go back and get another round. I get lost in time playing with my kids and forget to cook supper. Yeah I’m that mom. Thank the Lord for a husband who knows how to cook and loves Legos.
It’s a great big mess yall! I would not, could not survive with out the mercy and grace of Jesus. I don’t know how many times I’ve just been driving along, turned a corner or had someone pull out in front of me and realized the only reason I was still alive was cause Jesus loves me. I can’t see through my mess, it’s gnarly knot at a time. Guess what though, He is right there beside me, holding the flashlight telling me which rope to pull and push, my decision is to listen or not. I could just stay right there, in the dark, turn off that light and sit there.
Or open my ears, let my hands be guided, my eyes be opened and have some help with my mess. Just so yall know, I make a
decision daily to accept the light, the guidance, the sight I wouldn’t otherwise have. I refuse to let my mess get overwhelming and unmanageable. To me it’s the only way.
Give Him the flashlight, and get working on your mess, you’ll feel a whole lot better.