Hard Love

I have an opinion. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be writing a blog. Today’s opinion is on spanking. Of these I have received many in my life. Countless in fact. Around the age of 11 or 12 is probably when I received my last one. I can’t really remember what it was for, I want to say it was for fighting with my brother, who’s four years my junior. I had a tendency to try and beat the crap out of him, he’s still a brat. I’ve been spanked with belts, coat hangers, fly swatters, peach tree limbs, fish board, flip flops, shoes, hands, anything in the nature of about 1 foot to 3 foot long and anywhere from 2 inches to 12 inches in diameter. If it could leave an impression on my behind it was used. I’ve been spanked by a few different people, for the most part there is only about four main people though that spank me. And I usually understood why I was getting the spanking I was getting, whether I thought it was deserved or not.

Looking back now as an adult, I probably deserved every one of them I got. With each spanking that I got I learn to respect authority just a little bit more. I learned that for every wrong thing that you do, there consequences to be paid. I also learned that even if you didn’t do the wrong thing, if you were with the person who was doing the wrong thing you could still pay the consequences for whatever was being done. Which as a teenager taught me who I should be hanging out with.

Am I the best version of myself I can be, no. At the moment that’s no one’s fault but my own. I figure after the age 21, that responsibility falls on my head. No one else is responsible for me but me. Not every kid has that parent. I remember growing up and not having the one parent who was as interested in developing my character into the best version it could be. So instead of the “Stepping Stones” I needed as a child I got a pretty good bit of stumbling blocks. I was blessed and had other family members step in and take up the slack. Not all of that slack was in the form of spankings, but some of it was. I can occasionally still feel the sting of a peach tree limb from my grandmother, after slamming the back door one to many times, it was not lesson wasted. Even now I remember not to slam my own door. Saves on the wear and tear and when I’m at someone else’s house I’m reminded to show respect to their things. That’s just one example. As a parent, now it’s not that I want to spank my children, but it is my responsibility to them as their parent to help them become the best version of themselves that they can be.

papa house

I love my kids, my baby boys, my bouncing baby boys, are my heart! But most days talking just does not do the trick, especially when I tell them to do something, they don’t want to do. So whether it’s clean their room or pick up in the bathroom or stop hitting their brother, or quit running in the house, or “For the third time stop jumping on the couch because it ain’t a trampoline!”, talking and telling them has done me no good. I can take away their toys, I can put them in timeout, or I can separate them, but after it’s all said and done, they’re not going to listen. They will return to doing what they were the minute I turn my back. They’re going to push me as far as they can just to see how much they can get away with.

Some cases they want to see just how much control they have in the house. My oldest is a little more mild tempered, and the youngest has a little bit more respect for authority for now. It’s the middle one who pushes the boundaries the most, and usually knows where the fish board aka the paddle is located in the house. Some people would call him stubborn, others a Problem Child, some would say he’s mean or a bully, a lot of people just don’t know how to handle him, or what to do with him when he starts doing what he he does. In some circles he would be known as a strong-willed child, and there are people who would call that an attribute. Other parents would think he needs to be broke like a wild animal. Then you have those who think he needs to be honed into a leader or world dictator. When all I want is for him to stop jumping on the couch, running in and out of the house, and to shut the refrigerator door.

See there’s a fine line between disciplining your child with corporal punishment and abuse. For some kids corporal punishment is not necessary aka spanking. It’s just not required to keep them inline. One strong word from a parent and that’s all they need. Then you have the Robinator, combined with the Mynomite and a Jedi and somebody’s getting a spanking.

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After about two to three rounds with the fish board or nearest paddling apparatus, and my point usually makes it’s way past their eyeballs and settles in their little brains. This allows for them to realize that mommy is not playing and really does want them to stop. Sometimes it only takes one, sometimes if it’s something they really want and just have to do, it may take more persuasion.

Most of you reading this are probably thing, “Yeah, okay, we know this. We got our butts beat too!” I guess my question is what happen to the next generation? What happen to having to go pick out your own peach tree limb? Or go find the paddle? Why in blue hill are we seeing grown women being beat up by their 12 year old children? Then these people what us to ban guns? Your raising an entitled brat to send to school with my kid, and my kid is suppose to be tolerant and generous as well as understanding. Sure we understand, it’s called lazy parenting.

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(2 weeks of the flu at my house, air mattress in the living room trying not to succumb to cabin fever this past February!)

Parenting is not for the week at heart. It is not for those who can not finish a task or the weekend thrill seekers. You are taking on the responsibility of building the character, integrity, honesty, and decency of a human being! This is not a fish, or a plant! The children being born now will rule the world in 40 years. What kind of a world are you nurturing? Do you care enough to take the time to do it right? Are you willing to make the hard decisions, because you will be the only one who can, you are the parent!?

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Thank you for reading! Leave me a comment at the bottom, or suggest a subject! Ya’ll have a great week!

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